May 31, 2010

So last night I found another reason to slice my wrists open, in the form of imposter noodles. Jesus christ knows I love me some noodles, jesus christ knows if you throw some eggs, onions and rice on a plate and serve it to me I will be satisfied. Jesus Christ also knows my vietnamese g-ma and all her saigon street cred raised me better to trust an IMPOSTER NOODLE HOUSE. I know I’m going to make some enemies from this post…friends I accept you as you are but may need to reevaluate your taste buds at some point in the future. I’m pretty sure zombie chefs cooked my meal and then mistakingly cut up little pieces of their fingers and called it tofu. I’m pretty sure I have been having heart palpitations since finishing this meal. I’m pretty sure my life is about to turn into this and I will soon be eating my own vomit.

so unless you are looking for horse shit food and bull shit service avoid this place at all costs.

with love,
REMI.

Thai Noodles Etc House‎
2602 Guadalupe Street, Austin, TX 78705

When I think of Argentine cooking images of freshly killed cattle being cooked in the ground come to mind. I think of Central Market’s Argentine pride month long assortment of various groceries popular in Argentina. I think of how they do not make tacos, let alone breakfast tacos. So at first glance of Buenos Aires Cafe on the eastside of Austin I was not very interested.Even though the simple and cozy decor was alluring I’m just not usually a big fan of pseudo-hispanic cuisine unless it comes from a cart on the side of the road.

That being said, A few nights ago a few friends and I ventured into Buenos Aires Cafe more or less because we did not want to eat pizza at Rio Rita’s. I know it goes without saying that I typically don’t trust any kind of ethno-food trend that does not somehow involve KOREA but here I am eating my words. Starting with butternut squash soup that was not too hot, not too cold but just right to gnocchi made out of pumpkin and sweet potatoes. The second serving of I told you so came in the form of Artichoke and mushroom crepes with parmesan cheese curls. My friends and I didn’t talk for about 45 minutes unless it was to say “try this” or “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”.From Sampling salmon on a bed of fresh spinach and pecans to canelones caseros the meal was superb. To finish it off, cayenne pepper seasoned chocolate creme brulee and the best quatro leches I have ever had. I really appreciated feeling fresh after this meal as opposed to the typical heavy food baby pains that I so commonly associate with Latin American cuisine. All in all Buenos Aires Cafe you are fucking decent.

1201 East 6th street, Austin, TX 78702

March 23, 2010

A week ago a few friends of mine chose to meet up for dinner on a Sunday night. The wind was strong and desert winter was in full force. We all needed something to stick to our bones without it clinging to our ass cheeks…

We stumbled upon a piece of vegan heaven tucked away in the hipster central of Austin on North Loop. Mother’s has overcome it’s cliché clients with genuinely good food. Mother’s caters to the flock of vegan and granola enthusiasts who call Central Texas home with good ole’ home cooking à la santé. This is the one place I have found who serves tofu bbq, artichoke enchiladas and their guacamole salad is made to perfection. The restaurant is rather large and divided into café and garden, with an area to eat outside during the warmer months.

Their Sante Fé tacos are the best in town and they proudly boast the most popular vegan burger in Austin which seems to be fairly impressive, considering all the vegan restaurants around. The servers were timely and food was perfectly cooked, the chefs clearly have cooked with vegan ingredients before and none of the food is ‘trying’ to be a meat dish…

The downfall of Mother’s would be, not unlike many other places on AlmostDecent: THE DECOR. God people, you’d think by now you’d fucking spice things up a bit. For such a large location there is a rather empty feeling and the garden kind of reminded me of that place in Jersey malls called The Rainforest Cafe and I dont exactly think that’s what they are going for, at least one would hope not.

The only other turn off would be the employee fund which is basically a sign that they dont get enough revenue to properly pay their servers, or that they are just gold diggers. So, we’re gonna let the drab scenery and potential slave labour slide, and say that Mother’s is a must have for anyone looking for vegan healthy comfort food. DECENT.

Mother’s Cafe & Garden
4215 Duval Street
Austin,TX 78751
www.motherscafeaustin.com
(512) 451- 3994

- Remi Kyle-Phillipe Bowen

January 18, 2010

As it works out, the week I am leaving Philadelphia they decide to open the one thing that has been missing in the time I’ve been here. That’s right, GLUTEN FREE, SOY FREE, EGG FREE, CORN FREE, DAIRY FREE and CASEIN FREE treats!

If you know me, though I am not allergic to any of these things, life experiences have led me to understand the importance of having allergen-free food choices. It’s not all that easy.

Sweet Freedom Bakery is a little gem on South Street and while their menu isn’t large they offer BIG flavor in their daily specials. The cupcakes there are delicious (I had 4). With a fava bean flower base and what tastes like a fruit (maybe pear?) puree to create moisture, they have a rich and frankly unforgettable texture. In one bite, the word “Babycakes” suddenly lost all meaning. I know right but seriously it’s that good. Keeping in mind that I do not have allergies of any kind, I would choose these cupcakes over any bakery, any day.

When I got there they were sampling their coconut macaroons (light and fluffy) and their magic bars (same fava bean bases, dairy/soy free chocolate, coconut). I did not get around to trying the brownie, but it looked amazing.

One treat that I would recommend, which is served on Fridays, is their “thumbprint” cookie. Somehow they have captured the texture of a tea cookie and plopped an apricot or some blueberry jam on top. It’s really astonishing. Twenty minutes later I had to remove myself from in front of the pastry case and decode the recipe elsewhere.

I haven’t figured it out, but I do know this: It’s clear that the owners have put alot of time, thought, trial and error into all of the goods there. They are also taking criticisms really well. I noticed that they replaced the honey they had out for the teas with Agave. Good move. The only comment I could come up with is of the decór. It’s pretty drab and sterile, but you can’t have it all, right?

I am not going to slam Babycakes, because I love it there, so I will say one thing. Sweet Freedom Bakery is nothing like Babycakes, they have created a whole new flavor (and none of it involves spelt flour). They have their own thing going on and are worth checking out, if you’re vegan, allergic, or even just have a sweet tooth. I would even go so far as to suggest a road trip to Philly from surrounding cities. It must be magic! Something DECENT!!!!!!

1424 South Street (between 15th and Broad)
Philadelphia, PA 19146
215-545-1899

*Note: The oats in the photo are gluten-free

-Alessandra

UPDATE: I went back and tried the brownie. Very cakey, full of chocolate chips. If that sounds like your kind of thing, then you’re in luck. I prefer my brownies like my men. Greasy.

On my first morning back in Montréal in over a year, my friends took me to a little place I had never heard of but will not soon forget. Nestled between Montréal’s Mile-End and Plateau districts, Dépanneur Le Pickup is just the place to go for a cozy cheap meal with friends and catch up. Now for those of you who do not hail from the best place on earth, firstly I am sorry for you, secondly I shall have to explain to you the word dépanneur.

Dépanneur, also known as a “dep” is a common term meaning corner store in Québec where one can find all of life’s simple needs. Dépanneur Le Pickup goes beyond needs and reaches into desires. Desires for pulled porc, grilled cheese, steak & cheese, crêpes, and all things homestyle Québec with a little twist…You can buy yourself a carton of Orange juice while the kitchen prepares you a little bit of happiness. I seem very dreamy in writing about this post and it must simply be from walking away so satisfied with a homestyle type of meal.

To all who someday venture to French Canadaland, don’t forget my recommendation, I promise you will not regret it.

You can see their DECENT menu here

Dépanneur Le Pick-Up
7032 Waverly, Mtl, Q
514.271.8011

-Remi Kyle-Phillipe Bowen

January 7, 2010

So last night I went to Mozart’s Coffee located just west of downtown Austin for a late night drink with a friend. Located on the waterfront Mozart’s view must be great to see, I say must be because there was absolutely no out door lighting to see it. I would say Mozart’s must be a great place to go in the summer time but I would speak too hastily on the subject of coffee in the summer heat. One of the things I keep on forgetting to do when going to a lounge is checking to see what events are occurring that night. If I would have known that all of Austin’s Methodist Korean fellowship would be joined together to listen to a two-man band sing Christian rock  I probably would have chosen some place else (or at least brought my hymn book). The coffee was alright, and I say alright because it was a great laxative.

The food looked stale and the cafeteria-style seating was a bit overwhelming due to the neurotic tendencies of Jesus lovers. My friend had a tea and I’m pretty sure it was overpriced, actually I’m sure it was over priced and not the kind of overpriced that’s worth it. On the positive side, I might be more willing to pay for stale food and overpriced coffee in the spring time during the day when I can see a good view but something tells me those lovely UT students invade this place daily and I’m just not a university kind of boy.

The menu included your heinz 57 variety of coffee variants, chai, tea, muffins, cookies, and whatever else Starbucks also serves and I didn’t even get to check to see if there coffee was fair trade (there was some cops drinking coffee though, so I assume it was all legal). Mozart’s Coffee I really want to like you but this relationship between us is just not going to work out, I’m moving on to your next store neighbor Hula Hut.

Can you guess how I feel about this place?

If you don’t believe us about the Korean Tabernacle choir, here’s the address:

3825 Lake Austin Blvd
Austin, TX 78703
(512) 477-2900

-Remi Kyle-Phillipe Bowen

January 1, 2010

In the world of Almost/Decent the little pseudo-trendy ‘gay-friendly’ Texan café would be listed under a column entitled ‘yeah right’. Known as a mid-price ‘café lounge bistro’ in the heart of Austin’s downtown, Halcyon is one of those places that is trying really hard to not be Texan.

Which in theory there is nothing wrong with, but in practice seems to not make any sense. I’m pretty sure I was on an awkward first/last date drinking a chocolate martini when I realized how much this place was trying to be something that it was not and there is nothing I hate more then paying too much for an imposter café.

They were playing Michael Jackson’s greatest hits the night of his death and everyone thought it was awesome. People came bustling in and out meeting their friends getting ready for a ‘night on the town’(which, in case you are wondering, equates to going across the street to austin’s gay club, Rain). In Clueless terms Halcyon is a Monet; when you get close up it’s a big mess.

You guessed it, NOT SO MUCH.

www.halcyonaustin.com
218 West 4th Street
Austin, TX 78701-3917
(512) 472-9637

- Remi Kyle-Phillipe Bowen

A chupacabra will surely come kill me for saying this…

After a year in Austin, Texas, I am sick of fucking tacos. For those of you who are sick of tex-mex but don’t want to sell your soul to whataburger, do not fear… There are options. My first recent option is Manna Korean in North Austin, located off of Airport boulevard and North Lamar.

The food here is cheap, authentic, and comforting. It is the soul food for all of us non-southerners freaking out about tacos (yes, several sentences laters I’m still hating tacos). In general, the meals are family style so be prepared to indulge on some dried fish, kimchi, potato salad , pickled cucumbers and so forth as an appetizer, then to dive right into Korean heaven with some typical main dishes.

The fried chicken here makes you never want to go to church again. The Bulgogi makes you think Irish people aren’t too imaginative with beef. The spicy pork makes you feel bad for your Jewish friends. I am not so sure about health but I mean… it’s Korean in texas so I’m guessing I’ll have a heart attack there any day now. This place has never let me down (except for in the future when I die of a heart attack there) and they are open late by Austin food standards (9pm). They also make you feel like you aren’t in Texas which can be awesome for those days where too many people around you have used the word y’all. Go here, if you are feeling the taco depression. You will feel content with life again.

DECENT.

Manna Korean Restaurant
6808 North Lamar Boulevard,
Austin, TX (512) 323-0635

-Remi Kyle-Phillipe Bowen

March 18, 2009

Now if I could just get my head to stop pounding…

Four months ago I threw on some American Apparel leggings and a flannel shirt and headed over to Silverlake to meet up with some friends (NOT KIDDING WISH I WAS). Normally I couldn’t be bothered to travel to the east side of Los Angeles, but one of these friends owed me 50 bucks so I begrudgingly made the trek over to Sunset Junction from West Hollywood. We met at Inteligentsia.

Four months later I find myself desperately strung out on their coffee. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but I am stating fact here. Besides their coffee being overpriced, it is somehow WORTH it. Just to be able to sit outside and feel like in some civilized city and not fucking carworld is amazing.

Inteligentsia’s coffee definitely has a punch to it. The imported baristas from the Pacific Northwest grind it in front of you (they have to, since every drink is made to order- including the drip coffee). It’s not for the faint of heart of bowels. Believe me, I’ve heard stories…

But that’s not the point. The point is, to put it simply because I’m lazy and starving:

Good coffee if you like strong coffee.

Good atmosphere if you like pretty young girls with perky tits and little dogs (duhhh).

Good location. (I’ve since moved from laurel Canyon to Los Feliz)

DECENT. Done. Next?

www.intelligentsiacoffee.com
3922 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles 90029
(323) 663-6173

-Alessandra De Benedetti

November 20, 2008

As much as I’d like to give this place a decent, considering the amount of time I spent there over the summer, and its relation to the Bice restaurants which I hav always enjoyed, I just can’t. There are a few factors that hurt and help this authentic Italian restaurant, sometimes simultaneously.

Let’s start with the food. On first bite, it is surprisingly good. Good enough to say you want to go back. So what happens when you go back? The pasta’s undercooked. Then the next time it’s good again. I mean really good. But then the next time the same pasta is overcooked. What the fuck. It’s just plain inconsistent, which leaves us with the question of why I keep going back.

Simple, there’s only one reason: the atmosphere. Cafe Med is disputably the best location for people-watching of any restaurant in any major city I’ve been to. Feel free to send your arguments. The outdoor patio which sits nestled on the corner of the Sunset Strip and Sunset Plaza Drive is the perfect place to see any form of bizarre American ritual. Take, for example, the guy cruising around the block forty times in a yellow Lamborghini, competing for attention with the occasional stately Maybach and Rolls Royce, or the rampant Ferraris and Porsche 911’s. Or the kids selling pocket knives and candy bars. Or being star struck because your sitting next to a cast member of the Sopranos, riffing back and forth with the host in Italian about AC Milan’s stats. Smokers and non-smokers uniting over a glass of good red wine, eating good gnocchi. Young couples bringing their new adorable puppy dog out to show off. Nonna Lucia and Nonno Giuseppe getting drunk off Sambuca. The place is legit.

However, if it’s cold out, you’re basically fucked.

It appears as though Cafe Med has spent so much time dressing up their exterior to be fun and festive (and they did a good job), that they forgot about the interior. Setting foot inside that restaurant is like stepping into the gynecologist’s office. It’s dismal. And when forced to wait for a table outside, which is often, the prospect of sitting at the bar waiting can be as excruciatingly uninviting as that cold speculum. I have never sat inside of Cafe Med in the dozens of times I’ve been there nor do I plan on it.

So for that, unfortunately, though I wish it weren’t so, and only because it is November and I really would like one of your delicious thin crust margherita pizzas but am too cold to sit outside, I’m sorry Cafe Med…. ALMOST… but not quite.

www.cafemedsunsetplaza.com
Sunset Plaza Drive
West Hollywood 90069
310.652.0445

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